Froggy went a courtin’

Okay, so I know I’ve done a total disappearing thing with this blog, but really I have been writing, just not here. Sorry..but not, like super sorry, because:

  1. Only about 20 people read this, so really it’s no big deal.
  2. I’m pretty sure that not one of those 20 people are losing sleep over me not posting.

So the man-of-the-house and I were out in the backyard last night because the dogs were acting suspicious in an area near one of the flowerbeds. As any dog owner knows that means it’s time to go out and see if they’d found some fun dead thing to roll in or fun half-dead thing to torture to death and then roll in.

We took a flashlight and were carefully shining where we were stepping as we picked our way across the grass (any dog owner also knows why we were walking carefully…actually anybody who’s been in the backyard of a dog owner knows why…see how skillfully I managed not to use the words dog shit and yet you knew exactly what I was talking about, right?) Anyway, you can see from the photo what we discovered on our way to the flowerbed. *

I have 3 things to say about this.

  1. Finding this in my backyard was the most amusing thing that happened to me all weekend. And yes, that’s exactly how lame I am.
  2. When hubby and I happened across these two toads in-the-act last night, I said, “I wish I had my phone so I could take a picture.” Then he said, “I have my phone,” to which I replied, “And you’re not taking a picture right now?” That’s how lame he is.
  3. When you ask people, “Would you like to see some toad p0rn?” it’s been my experience that they always, always immediately lean over to look at the photo on your phone. That’s how lame we all are. **

* We found nothing in the flowerbed, in case you were wondering, but probably you weren’t because you’re still looking at the hot, sexy toad-sex photo.

** When people lean over to look at toad-p0rn on your phone, it’s very important to start making “bowchickawowow” sounds so that they can fully can fully enjoy the moment.

Okay, well I know that you guys are expecting some really obnoxious animal sex video…and don’t think I wasn’t tempted. But, I’ve decided that I’m much too classy for that. So instead I’ll give you this extremely classy video….

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6 Responses to Froggy went a courtin’

  1. Mary says:

    Melissa, this is hilarious. Now I know what I’ve been missing by never listening to country music. I wonder why we haven’t seen this posted in response to all the ridiculous objection to the military moms nursing their babies! I love reading your blog and actually I DO miss it when you’re not posting :) I think it’s rare to be able to write things that make people laugh out loud as they’re reading, but you do that for me!

    • melissa says:

      that song is hilarious, right? I’ve seen it a bunch of times and it makes me laugh every time. I wanted to go see him in person, but Leonard gave me a “look” that I’m pretty sure meant, “No way, because you’d probably take your shirt off.” so we never went. SIGH…

  2. Mary Kay says:

    Thank you for expanding my bestiality library, toads were one of the few species I was missing. If you come upon any penis jousting Pseudobicerus hancockanus (I did not make this up) in your backyard, could you shoot a short video, those can be really hard to come by.

    I knew I could count on you.

    Missed your blog, Missy.

    • melissa says:

      that sounds pretty awesome, MK… I might have used video on the frogs except they weren’t moving. Maybe the flashlight in their faces threw them off their stride or something. Ha!!

  3. sonjejones says:

    If you are lame because that is the most amusing thing that happened to you over the weekend, then I am even more lame because that is easily more amusing than anything that happened to me. I win the lame contest!

    PS Wow, I am in love with that song. Am I going to buy the single? Am I? God help me, I probably will.

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